Urban Meyer overshadows Florida-Florida State, Michigan-Ohio State – Orlando Sentinel
Running off at the typewriter. …
Urban Meyer quit at Florida a few months ago because he supposedly wanted to spend more time with his family and because he was concerned about his health. Now, not even a year later, it appears he’s ready to take the Ohio State job. After watching the talent-thin, depth-depleted team Meyer left behind in Gainesville, I think I know what health issue he had at UF: “BareCupboard-itis.” Or maybe he was suffering from a rare form of “NoTebow-emesis! ” … And isn’t it appropriate that Meyer appears to be headed to Ohio State, where the mascot is named Brutus? Now Gator fans can rightfully say, “Et tu, Urban!” … Question from the Peanut Gallery: “Who will be Urban Meyer’s first recruit at Ohio State – Huntley Johnson?” … And do you know the best thing about the NBA lockout? It gives Stan Van Gundy a chance to spend more time with Urban Meyer’s family. …
Speaking of Van Gundy, he will be on WKMG‘s Sports Access tonight at 7 talking college football with Channel 6 sports anchor David “Ping” Pingalore. Take it from me, there is nothing better than hearing SVG rip apart the BCS. … FSU coach Jimbo Fisher and Florida coach Will Muschamp own a beach house together in Pensacola? Great idea for today’s Florida-Florida State Beach House Brawl: To the winner goes the red weeks. … By the way, the Florida-Florida State game today will be called by SEC officials. As bad as ACC refs have been this year, even Fisher is probably happy about that. … Sort of hard to believe Fisher actually said of his team this week, “I love the direction we’re going.” Um, somebody better check Jimbo’s compass. I think it’s broken. Better yet, maybe FSU fans need to start a new protest group: “Occupy Jimbo’s Sense of Reality.” …
Mikey likes: Florida over Florida State by ½ , Alabama over Auburn by 25, Michigan over Oh-Urban State by 15, Titans over Bucs by 4, Texans over Jags by 5, leftover pumpkin pie over leftover turkey leg by 3 belt notches. …
Shame on those NASCAR fans who booed First Lady Michelle Obama and Second Lady Jill Biden at last weekend’s Sprint Cup finale in Homestead. Obama and Biden were the co-grandmarshals of the race and were attempting to raise awareness for “Joining Forces” – an initiative to support military families. To make matters worse, conservative radio gasbag Rush Limbaugh endorsed the booing and went down the racial low road when he accused Michelle Obama of “uppity-ism.” Good grief, is this really how far political commentary has devolved in this country? And now for the most infamous words in all of racing, “Gentlemen, start your hatefully polarizing and politically divisive engines!” …
I keep seeing where UCF‘s message board maniacs are threatening to boycott football games unless Coach George O’Leary is fired. My question: With UCF’s lackluster attendance even in the good years, who would notice? … … Dwight Howard says the Magic should retire Penny Hardaway’s jersey. I wonder if Dwight also thinks the Beatles Hall of Fame should consider inducting Yoko Ono. … It’s laughable that the Miami Hurricanes (6-5) have implemented a self-imposed bowl ban in hopes of offsetting possible NCAA sanctions resulting from the Nevin Shapiro investigation. Question: Should you really be able to skip a rinky-dink bowl and count that as a penalty? Can you imagine if you could do this in real life? Husband to wife: “Sorry, honey, I cheated on you. How about I skip the tuna-noodle casserole for dinner tonight and we’ll call it even?” This just in: Whatever bowl game Miami might have gone to this year would not have been a reward, it would have been a sentence….
… According to P.E.T.A., many factory-bred Thanksgiving turkeys are so morbidly obese they can’t even stand up. You know, sort of like the NBA business model. … A bunch of puppets who sing and dance and do whatever is necessary to stand in the way of progress? Am I talking about the new “Muppets” movie or BCS bowl executives?
Open Mike
Most every weekday, you can click on OrlandoSentinel.com and read the wildly popular Open Mike blog and interactive extravaganza to get my freshest takes on what’s happening in the world of sports. Here’s an excerpt from a blog post about the three most-popular college football teams in our area and which one has had a worse year:
As we prepare for Saturday’s big, er, medium-sized game between Florida and Florida State this weekend, I have a simple question for Mikey Nation:
Who has had the more disappointing season – the Gators, Noles or Knights?
Of course, I’m going to have to vote for Jimbo Fisher’s Seminoles because I predicted they would win the national title before the season. Considering they have four losses, including devastating defeats to less-talented teams such as Wake Forest and Virginia, I believe their season has been an utter and complete failure.
Coach George O’Leary and his UCF program is a close second in my mind simply because the Knights were coming off the greatest season in school history and have followed it up with a losing season and arguably the most disheartening season in school history.
As for the Gators, I predicted before the season that first-year coach Will Muschamp would only win six or seven games because a new staff was taking over a program bereft of quality talent, depth and discipline. I will say this, though: The manner in which the Gators have compiled their lackluster 6-5 record (with a miserable Charlie Weis-coordinated offense ranked No. 91 in the country) have made them particularly painful to watch.
But enough about what I think. I want to know what you think.
And now let’s all stand up and holler out the new rallying cry for UF, FSU, UCF, Miami and USF fans:
“Christmas is coming, let’s head out to the stores!
“Our team may be bad, but it’s not as bad as yours!”
Mail Bonding
(Most interesting reader retorts, tangy tweets and Bianchi barbs of the week):
In response to former Florida coach Urban Meyer leaving Florida with a bare cupboard and reportedly about to accept the Ohio State job less than a year later: “Urban Meyer is a human Ponzi scheme. He gets everyone to invest, everyone reaps huge rewards, then he leaves you bankrupt.”
In response to Channel 6 sports director David “Ping” Pingalore reporting that Meyer has already agreed to a 7-year, $40-million deal to coach Ohio State: “I thought the Urban Meyer (to Ohio State) story was true, but now that Ping is reporting it I’m not so sure.”
In response to this question: Who has had the most disappointing season – Florida, Florida State or UCF? “YES!”
Notable Quotables
In honor of this Thanksgiving weekend, three of my favorite quotes about the holiday.
“The turkey President Obama will pardon this year is from California. “The turkey said, ‘I don’t want a pardon; I want a job.’ ” – Conan O’Brien
“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” – Jon Stewart
“Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” – Johnny Carson
mbianchi@tribune.com. Follow him on Twitter at BianchiWrites. Listen to his radio show every weekday from 6 to 9 a.m. on 740-AM.