Housewives Head to Punta Canta – Patch.com
As the weather in real New Jersey grows cooler, this week’s “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” heads to warmer waters. Several weeks ago, Melissa Gorga suggested that all of the housewives go to Punta Canta to rekindle old memories and remind themselves of how important they are to one another.
“I think it’s genius,” she says.
Right.
The episode opens with each family getting ready to go, predictably overpacking, and passing their children off on their longsuffering parents or in-laws (with the exception of the Lauritas, who have hired a babysitter). There is clearly some concern over whether everyone will be able to get along. For example, when Teresa Giudice asks her husband if he is able to get along with her brother for a few days, he says, “Who cares?” Oh yeah, this is going to be peaceful to be sure.
We are also informed that Ashley Holmes will not be joining the group because she failed to get her passport. At least we are spared that particular family’s drama.
After a brief, seemingly homemade montage of the group taking off, the audience is transported to beautiful Punta Canta. The first drama is between Teresa and the airport, as one of her numerous bags has gone missing.
“Of all people to lose a bag, I think Teresa is the best person for it to happen to,” Rich Wakile says, “because she brought nine others. The odds were against her.”
Teresa rides to the hotel with her brother, Joe Gorga, and his wife Melissa and her cousin Kathy Wakile and her husband. When she complains about her bag, Joe reminds her that he is sitting next to her, ready to try and rekindle their broken relationship.
“I love you, but I can’t wear you,” Teresa says.
The group rolls out in four huge black cars to “They’re the New Jersey Girls” by Omar Teitelbaum. This Jersey girl had to take a moment out of writing to find it online. It’s pretty epic.
As is the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, where the cast has rented three villas. One is for the “kids”: Chris, Lauren, and Albie Manzo and Greg Bennett. One is for the Gorgas and Wakiles, and one is for the Manzo/Laurita/Giudice group.
Despite a few jabs, everyone seems to be getting along fine. Melissa says Teresa is going to listen to the “angel” on her shoulder, rather than the “devil.”
Somehow, the implied rivalry between Melissa and Teresa becomes apparent in other ways. Perhaps through the magic of editing, they appear to be doing everything the other one does, right down to a dance off on the boat ride they take.
“There was no competition there,” Giudice says, breaking the fourth wall. “I mean, did you see? Was there any competition? Let everyone else decide.”
Unfortunately, Caroline Manzo suffers a debilitating migraine on the first day and is unable to go on the boat ride, instead being filmed sleeping it off. Unsurprisingly, very little of that footage is seen.
The other 10 members of the party have a blast drinking and swimming during their boat ride. They then disembark on a beach where they are going to have dinner.
As they change, we are inundated yet again with talk of Melissa and Joe’s sex life, and some of the cast members apparently end up catching a glimpse of it in action. In fact, the entire party seems to have decided that the tropical beach means they get to talk about their sex lives as much as they like, no matter who may be listening. Rich Wakile even tells his son that he will be doing it with Kathy every night they are away. Nothing beats seeing the Manzo kids and Bennett watch Joe and Melissa Gorga in the bathroom, though. There is such a thing as too much reality.
As they sit on the beach, the Giudices, Lauritas, Wakiles, and Albert Manzo start discussing the Giudices’ plan to open a restaurant. As the owner of the Brownstone in Patterson, Manzo has the most experience of the group and tries to explain to them how hard it will be. Joe Giudice tries to tell him it’s different because he does not run a restaurant, but a catering hall. It’s interesting to see Albert interacting with the group sans Caroline. He keeps his cool exterior, but definitely has opinions.
This is revealed in the aftermath of the long-awaited Wakile-Giudice fight. Kathy makes a comment about not wanting to “detach” from her children long enough to run a restaurant. Teresa takes this as a second attack on her parenting, after Wakile allegedly accused her of leaving her child unattended during the infamous (and overplayed) christening fight earlier this season.
All of the other people of the group try to get them to cease and desist, including Chris Laurita attempting to start a round of “99 Bottles of Beer.” But this fight has clearly been boiling for awhile, and even a beautiful, perfect day spent together does not seem to be able to stop it. Eventually, Teresa and Joe walk away, leaving the rest of the group to side with Wakile. One almost feels bad for the Giudices, even as Joe tells Teresa that they do not matter, in language both crude and unhelpful.
“I’m so done with her. Again,” Teresa says.
“The Real Housewives of New Jersey” airs Sundays at 10 p.m. on Bravo.