Catherine Zeta-Jones Enters The Hi Yo Silver Kemo Sabe Rehab Clinic – The Spoof (satire)
NAUGATUCK, Connecticut – Catherine Zeta-Jones the wife of Michael Douglas has checked into one of the most popular (and expensive) rehab clinics on the entire Right Coast.
And almost immediately the rumor mills started churning out the reasons for her ‘visit’ to The Hi Yo Silver Kemo Sabe Rehab Clinic which ran the gamut from being addicted to Ketchup, to being a shopaholic, to being afflicted with Bipolar Disorder Ipso Yikes II which is a fairly common affliction found in many older female and male celebrities who have not had a hit movie in several years.
When asked for a comment by The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette Michael Douglas replied that he did not want to comment because he felt that if he commented the comment would only be taken out of context as 87 percent of all of his comments of late have been.
He did say that contrary to published reports his wife did not check into Hi Yo Silver under the assumed name Terrie Kirney. He noted that Catherine had used the name Napoleona Complexham, which is the real name of a character she played in the X-rated movie The Pornographic Photographic World of Napoleona Complexham.
The film did not do very well at the movie box office but it was a tremendous hit at the movie video rental stores.
Complexham is regarded by many photography experts as being one of the greatest professional female photographers to ever utter the phrase “Say cheese.”
Douglas disclosed that Catherine was assigned to Ward 159034-D, where 75 percent of the occupants are drug addicts, alcoholics, or cougars who were ex-lap dancers.
The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette will stay on top of the story and bring you more in depth details when those details surface from the inner reaches of the Hi Yo Silver Kemo Sabe Rehab Clinic, where their motto is “Feel Free To Open Up To Us ‘Cause At These Exorbitantly High Priced Fees We GUARANTEE You That Our Lips Are Sealed!”
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